Sep 262016

I am wrriting this as Malcolm is not well enough.  He has constant  headaches and  is not eating as much as  he should.  As Chemo starts on Wed this is worrying for me. He had been doing well and we have spent several days out but no sooner does he improve then the wretched disease takes over again  or the side effects of the many  pills he has been popping. One tablet  for example means he can’t take his blood pressure tablets and so his BP is too high and high BP means headaches that he cannot cope with. You cant win.  I feel really frustrated now and feel  Wed onwards will be bad.  I am also getting very impatient with Malcolm and accusing him of giving in and not working through these symptoms and at least trying to eat  which is wrong of me I know. Depression is not a good thng for a carer either so I need to  be stronger than ever and it is getting harder for me now as well. I am so glad I have God with me to talk to as I do not think I could  cope anymore without faith.  Sorry this is so depressing but living with illness makes you that way sometimes and I am being honest here not holier than thou.

  5 Responses to “A wife’s tale continued. Set back”

  1. Wife of my heart,
    You are allowed to be grumpy and bad tempered, just as I am.
    But you have never given up. Neither have I.
    If I get to live at the end of this, then it is you who have moved the odds most in my favour.

    Ðū eart min cwēn, und ic lufie ðē.

  2. Beryl, you have just proved you are a human being, if any proof were needed. You have done incredibly well to get this far, many people would have caved in a while ago. Please don’t be hard on yourself, you are both doing your very best to fight this horrible disease you could not do any more. Everyone is willing you through and don’t forget to ask for help if you need to .xxxx

  3. We are carrying on praying for both of you. We prayed for Malc last night at our church prayer meeting. God Bless you both.

  4. Dear Beryl, you’re feelings are totally natural, you are human and you have been through all that
    Malcolm has, be it in a different way. Sometimes we have to hang onto God with our finger nails and remember His promises . It is so very hard but God knows this and understands. You have been amazing and must be exhausted and yet you both face 2nd lot of chemo ! Will keep praying for you both, may you know His presence and strength and see His hand at work through the Medics that care for Malcolm in the days ahead. Love marion

  5. My dear friend Beryl. Doesn’t God ask for honesty? And it also helps us poor souls who don’t have half of your resolve! You are one of the most positive people I know but that doesn’t mean you can’t sometimes lose your strength. And in your weakness He will be strong for you….. scripture tells us!

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