08:30 and we are waiting for our son to pick us up. I’ve spent days longing for this day, and now I find I’m scared stiff. It’s going to the dentist, but far worse.My stomach feels weak, I could not finish my breakfast. I keep wanting to go to the toilet and I want to run away and hide somewhere. Yes I know it’s stupid. No I’m not going to do anything so daft. But I wish I could.
09:15 Get to the Christie, park the car, and walk in. I’m feeling better now it’s started. The waiting area is jam-packed. Does the entire world have cancer?
First of all blood tests, then go back and wait. Our appointment is 10:20, but there has been some complication and the clinic is running late.
11:45 At last it is our turn. First a very helpful lass apologised for the delay and offered us a cup of tea, then we saw a junior doctor, then a MacMillan nurse, then the Big Man. All very nice and helpful. Most of the information is not new, just expanded, and we get a couple more booklets to read. Again I suspect they are giving me a worst case scenario, so as not to raise false hopes.
It’s going to be 3 cycles of chemo, followed by surgery, followed by 3 more chemo cycles. The cancer is unusually large, but no seconaries so far. The test will come when they do the surgery and take samples from the nodes in the chest. if they find owt, then it’s bad.
But as always it’s a matter of percentages. Nothing is certain.
For some people the chemo does not work, in that case go home and don’t start any long books.
For some people they have hardly any bad effects (and the rest of us will regard them with greenest envy).
For some people the effects of the chemo are just too ghastly, and 40% drop out before the end. I can understand why, but the price is one you pay at the bookies. The odds get worse.
So the chemo starts next week, Thursday. God give me strength.
And at the end of the day my grand-daughter is told her new job starts Tuesday at an IT support company. She is chuffed. I am proud.
And my son leaves me with this gem:
An IT programmer’s wife asks him to pick up a loaf of bread and, if they have eggs, get a dozen.
The programmer comes home with a dozen loaves of bread.
When asked why, he says, “They had eggs.”
Seems fair enough to me, I don’t see the problem.