After writing last night’s blog I went to bed. Not so much physically tired as mentally or maybe emotionally.
I didn’t sleep though, I was too cold. Yet the house was warm and the duvet was warm, but I lay there frozen. Looking back it seems to me that I was in shock. Today Beryl tells me I am far less tense. I certainly feel less tense, although I do have a tendancy today to want to sit and stare at the fire instead of doing anything. But then it’s not every day you get told you are going to live.
We had the MacMillan nurse round today. Very helpful. I’ve got some water-soluble painkillers for when my throat plays up. That I did need, and I’ve got information about chemo as well.
There’s no doubt, it’s going to be hard, and very painful. But I still want it. I ‘m fed up with eating soft pap, especially when I can only take small amounts, whichmeans a “meal” can last all day by the time I’ve finished.
I did the software release – and it didn’t work. So tomorrow I need to look at the code. I’m supposed to have finished, but I can’t leave this incomplete. I’ve never worked that way.